Bra shopping with my sister.

   So earlier this month I had a very important event, my sister's 18th birthday. YAY!! I was so excited about it for several reasons. To explain, let me go back a few months ago. 

   About a month or two before I started this blog, I let my sister know a little bit about myself. In all reality she doesn't know much, she just knows that I cross dress, and like to wear nail polish, and so on. She even knows that I wear a bra everyday. She took it fairly okay. She doesn't like it at all, and she's made it clear that she will not ever go out in public with me if I look too much like a lady. She still sees me as her older brother, and doesn't want to let go of that ideal.

   However much she doesn't like it, I know she is trustworthy. I trust her more than anybody in the world. I know that she would never let anybody know, and has even covered for me a few times. What an amazing sister. She doesn't pass judgement on me, too much anyways.

   The funny thing is, she is not your extreme feminine girl either. She likes to get dirty, likes to rough it up a bit, and above all else, absolutely HATES shopping. Because our mother has ingrained in her how to shop, she will only buy cheaper clothes. Now don't get me wrong, wal-mart is one of my top places to shop, but she NEVER buys anything nicer. She's never had jeans that cost more than $20, she's never bought outfits that were in style, and above all, she's never owned a nice bra. This took me back a bit. I mean, if I were to count every time I purchased a bra, I probably owned more than she's ever had. Worst of all, her bras were all white, and uncomfortable.

   This hurt me, in a way. Here I am enjoying my favorite bras by Victoria's Secret, while she never had the luxury of even knowing what one felt like. So I took it upon myself to be the older sister, and take her bra shopping to get her first Victoria's Secret bra.

   We planned it all on her birthday. I took her out to eat, and then to a VS store in a nearby city. This particular store has been very fruitful from my wallet, as I've been there roughly 10 times in the last six months. To please her, I didn't dress too androgynous, I just had juniors jeans on, and a t-shirt, with a jacket on over it. Since I looked more like a guy, I purposely wore my pink push-up bra, so that it was still evident that I had a bust line. We shopped around the mall, and finally came across VS.

    Everything was going according to my plan when out of nowhere my sister said that she didn't really want a VS bra. She kept going on how she's not a girly girl and doesn't care about a pretty bra. I really tried to get her to pick out a really nice blue leopard printed bra (her favorite color) but she was persistent that if she got one, it had to be white. It was quite a scene seeing two siblings, a brother and sister, arguing in a Victoria's Secret store. Finally we came to an agreement, if she would at least get a bra fitting, and try a colored bra on, then I'd get whatever bra of her choice.

   She went to the saleslady and asked for a fitting. She was too embarrassed to have me nearby. She also made it clear that I couldn't try on a bra either, because she was afraid of what the sales lady would think. She came out, and pick out an all black bra. At least it wasn't white!!! I found out that she is my sister in more ways than one, her bra size is the sister size to my bra size!! what a coincidence!

   Anyway I paid for her new bra, and we went home. She thanked me for paying for her bra, which cost about $50. But I knew it would be worth it. She may never tell me how much she likes it, but i know that she will fall in love with the bras and never want to get a regular bra, from just anywhere, ever again.

Waxing and hair removal cream

What is the best way to remove hair?
   I have only had experience in 3 ways to remove hair besides using tweezers, shaving, waxing and hair removal cream. But since shaving really doesn't remove the hair, just cuts it, we'll just talk about the cream, and waxing.
   First method i used was waxing. It really works best for longer lasting results. But there is a few setbacks, such as costs, pain, and rash/pimples. In my case, when i had my first waxed, several pimples formed where the hairs were, and my chest was very red for several days. It was read like acne is red, not from burning. I had a costume party, where I went in a really nice formal dress. However my neck and the top of my chest showed, and unfortunately they were covered in red pimples. It really didn't look good, and although I tried using foundation on it, they still showed through.
   Second method is hair removal cream. This works very well. I know several people complain about the burning, but it really doesn't hurt all that bad. In fact i think I get more of a burning sensation when I shave my legs. On setback is that the hair grows back rather quickly compared to waxing. Cost is really a lot cheaper and the results are really, really good.
   Out of the two, I like the cream if I am short on cash, an in a hurry. Its quick, easy, and more cost effective. However the waxing gives better results, lasts a lot longer. Also since I am a sociable kind of guy, the waxing is very tempting, especially since I like to talk to someone during the whole process. It gives me someone to talk to, and explain my thoughts out.
   So overall, waxing and hair removal cream are both good choices, especially if your like me, and can't afford permanent treatments. 

Haywire Hormones

   Okay, so I can't say I wasn't warned. I've heard several others tell me that one of the side effects of taking estrogen, is that you go through puberty all over again, but this time you get the mood swings that teenage girls get.
   "That won't happen to me!" I thought. I mean really, I'm super calm and collective, and rarely ever blow up on anybody. Well all that has changed. Big Time. Here are some of the mood/hormone changes I've noticed.
   First I'm more emotional. Seriously, after watching a movie that may be a bit touching, I have more tears in my eyes then I ever did as a guy. I tend to cry a little bit more, even when reading a book or something similar. For instance, I was watching a tv show that was archived on youtube that was about the first human to survive rabies, and half way through, when they talked about almost loosing her, the Dr. was crying, and I broke out just as bad. I mean here I am in bed with my laptop on, bawling my eyes out, in the middle of the night. Crazy.
   But it was yesterday, when I realized that the hormones really were getting to me. I have a teenage sister that was throwing a party yesterday. I was in charge of making the beverages. She was already stressed about the party, and I was stressed about getting my room clean. She started yelling at me, and I came undone on her. We had a cat fight right there in the kitchen. I mean it was different than any brother/sister fight that I normally used to have with her. It was definitely a sister/sister cat fight.
   Wow, I couldn't believe it, because after everything was said and done, I was crying on my bed, instead of my normal shrugging it off. Very weird.
   So my advise to anyone else just starting. Be ready, the first few weeks are a doozy.

13 is MY lucky number - I finally found Shoes!

Finally, after searching all over, I found a good online source, and local source for all my shoes. Payless shoes (payless.com) is carries a woman's size 13 in several sizes. At first I thought such a shoe would be too small, but I decided to go to the store in town to see if they had those sizes. After trying out 2 stores, I was told of one on the north side of where I live. They have a section that has plenty of size 13 shoes. So I headed that way.

As luck would have it, they had a perfect pair of black flats that have a bow on them, I fell in love immediately with them. They are pictured at the top. (http://www.payless.com/store/product/detail.jsp?catId=cat10088&subCatId=cat10276&skuId=091625075&productId=69922&lotId=091625&category=&catdisplayName=Womens) I tried them on and found that they were a perfect fit. I then tried on a few other pairs of shoes, and found that women's 13 is my size. Funny my pants size are Junior's 13 as well. I guess 13 is my lucky number! Anyways I went back to the black flats. They were on sale for 16.99, plus I got an extra $4 off for coming from the other store that didn't have them. I also found a denim pair of oxford styled sneakers that were very cute. They were on sale for $12. (http://www.payless.com/store/product/detail.jsp?catId=cat10088&subCatId=cat70006&skuId=089036130&productId=68815&lotId=089036&category=&catdisplayName=Womens)

I love my new shoes, and plan to hopefully buy some stylish boots to wear to work. I will be definitely checking in every month or so to see what new styles they carry. And I'll definitely be checking online as well. It's easy to navigate, and filter through their shoes to see the size you want. I then print off the shoes that I like and take it to the store. If they don't have it, then I'll order it. They offer FREE shipping to their stores if you go in and order through the store. I would definitively recommend!

Visit to the Dr.'s office.

   I had to make a visit to the doctor's office about my allergies last Monday the 17th. I called 3 months earlier, and they could only fit me in this past week. On the day of the visit, I got dressed like any other day. My new VS bra that's white with rainbow leopard spots on it, junior's jeans, t-shirt, and a cropped black sweater/shirt. My favorite green necklace and ring completed the accessories.

   Upon arriving, it took a while to get checked in. I was given a very long form filled with questions about my allergies. It took a long time to fill that out, and I was only on the second page when they called my name. I followed the nurse as she led me to a room and asked me several questions. After she left the doctor came in and I had to go through the long process of telling all about my allergies, and what I thought I was allergic to. He informed me that they will do some skin tests, and that the results will help figure out the best medicine. He went for his stestiscope, and asked me to remove my outer jacket. WHOH.. I stuttered a little bit, removed the jacket and then told him that I did wear feminine clothing. He just nodded his head and said okay, and continued to check my breathing as if it were the norm.

   He left and two nurses came in. One walked past me and started messing with the cabinets while the other spoke to me. I recognized her as the nurse that led me to the room in the first place. She said that they will be doing skin tests on my back and that I'll have to remove all my top clothing. I said okay, and then told her that I do wear ladies clothes. It was obvious, because anyone could tell I had some curves underneath my shirt. NOW COMES THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. I began to take my shirt off, while continuing "which also means that I am wearing a bra as well." THERE it was finally out! I told her, just a few seconds before taking off my shirt and exposing my Victoria's Secret bra. It didn't even phase her. She just said that the bra would have to come off as well, and asked if I wanted something to cover myself with. I told her that it didn't matter, as long as they were okay. In reality I don't have very big breasts. Although they are B cup size, they are small compared to my huge broad shoulders. She then said, "Don't be nervous, I've seen just about everything by now." and then continued with giving me 6 shots in the back.

   This whole time, the other nurse was preparing a breathing machine to test my breathing with. She didn't say a word either. Both were very professional, and went along as if it were the norm. After my 6 injections of allergians, the first nurse left, and the other began to talk to me about breathing. During this time I was sitting directly facing her with my whole front side exposed.  She was very nice and overly cheerful as she went through the breathing together. She even made me giggle during a few of the breath tests, which in turn made here giggle as well. We finished up the tests, and the first nurse came back in, looked at my back, took notes, and then wiped my back clean with an ointment to cure the now formed rashes that were making my back itch. After I got dressed again the doctor came and, and told me of the results. I'm VERY allergic to grass, cats, and dust. He mentioned that all three together make up for me having seasonal allergies all year round.

   After he gave me a prescription, I then left. It was a great experience and a milestone in my life. I wore a bra, just like I do everyday, and it was normal for those around me. I was so happy!

21st birthday en femme

My 21st Birthday was amazing!
I went shopping at a nearby town, and clubbing at a local bar. The whole day I was en femme, and I loved it. It was adventurous, and exciting all at the same time. Since my birthday was the same day as National Coming Out Day, I thought it was appropriate. Here are all the details.

Got up and got dressed as soon as my parents left for work. I had no work, since I normally have school all day long, but today school was cancelled due to fall break / faculty meeting.

Once I was dressed, I headed to the restroom to get ready. I shaved all hair off my face, (Ugggg) and then started to apply my makeup. All I used was foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow, lip gloss, and mascara. I'm not all that good with makeup, but love trying! During this time my sister got up, and I could hear her in the kitchen. I then quickly grabbed all my things, shouted goodbye, and left out the door. I hopped in my truck and took off for a nearby town about an hour away.

My plan: to go shopping at several places including the mall, and other shopping districts. The stores I wanted to hit for sure included DEB, Rue21, Dress Barn, and my favorite Victoria's Secret.

Once inside the truck (and a little bit away from home), I painted my nails, changed into sandals, and then put on my brand new wig I purchased the day before. I arrived at the city, and went straight to the mall. I walked in and started to go through each store. I know for sure the two biggest giveaways were my cheap wig, and my horrendous makeup job. From afar I looked like a girl, and from behind no one could tell, my walk was perfect and most of my mannerisms were good. However I felt that several people were staring at me. I know that several people suspected something. And since I've never tried to work on changing my voice (really I don't care anyways), every time I talked, they knew I was a guy.

I went into a seasonal Halloween shop to look around. One of the guys came up to me from behind and said "can I help you find your perfect costume Miss?" I immediately blushed, turned to him, smiled, and kindly said, "No thanks, I have my perfect costume already, thanks though!" He shuddered a bit, said okay, and walked off toward the next customer. I felt sooo happy!! :)

My next store was rue21. I look around at their sales and clothes, but was mostly interested in their sunglasses. I didn't have a feminine pair yet. So I tried several on, and got the one I liked. The sales lady was very energetic and smiled back at me a lot.

I was halfway through the mall when 10 school buses full  of high school students drove up and let their students out to roam the mall. Teens, only a few years younger than myself flooded all the stores. As I was walking around several girls would turn and smile at me. I'd just smile back and keep going as if all was normal.

One of my last stops was Victoria's Secret. I wanted to go here for sure for 2 reasons, to try on their new Very Sexy Seduction bra, and to spend my $10 gift certificate that I got for my birthday from them. I looked around for a while and the sales lady came up and asked me if I was looking for anything in particular. I asked her what she thought about their Very Sexy Seduction bra. ( http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1314943074054&c=Page&cid=1265616832781&pagename=vsdWrapper ) She gave all the quick details, then asked if I wanted to try it on. I said sure (while in my mind i was saying OF COURSE!!!). I told her my size 38B, which they didn't carry (that's usually my case) so she handed me my sister size, 36C. I went to the dressing room and tried it on. It was at this time that I really wished I had my phone on me. I really would have loved to take a few pics. Anyways, I didn't buy the bra because I really wanted it in my size. So I bought new yoga pants instead. They are black, with a pink top that has "Victoria's Secret" written all over in white.

As I was leaving the mall a homeless person sitting on the curb called out to me saying something about the pretty girl dressed in lots of color. I really didn't know how to react. I certainly never had someone jeer or call to me like this before. I just kept walking toward my truck.

I ate at McDonald's and got online as well. I decided to use my webcam to see how I looked. When I saw myself, I was like wow! I look fairly good. It was wierd, i was a little bit attracted to myself...lol. I updated my picture on a few social networks of what I looked like, and then left for more shopping.

I stopped by a local gas station to use the restroom because I knew they had the single rooms. Even though I was en femme, I didn't want to use the ladies room with others in it. I am very conscience on other's feelings, and try to respect others as much as possible. Funny though, on my way out, a man held the door for me. I thanked him of course, but it felt weird, because I'm always doing it for the ladies.

On the way home I decided to try to take a few pictures of myself at a nearby park. Unfortunately I could only get two-three pictures in before the camera batteries died. Oh well. That's how it goes I guess.

At 10:30pm I found myself in a local gay friendly club. I took off my wig for this, but kept my makeup on, and the rest of my outfit. The only difference was that I had a hoodie on as well. The club was one that my bellydance friends wanted me to go to. It was really fun. I didn't drink anything, I just didn't feel like it was time yet. Even though I was finally old enough, and I had a lot of pressure to do it. LOL. There was a drag queen, and a few drag kings as well. They did their show and I had a great time. Got some advice from others there and made some new friends. I loved it.

My birthday was great! I got called a Miss, got jeered at, and the door was held open for me... All a first for me. It was really exciting, and I loved every bit of it!

WPATH Standards of Care NEW EDITION!!!

   During research on hormone replacement therapy this week I found out that WPATH has updated their Standards of Care. I was very much intrigued, especially since I am to meet my first therapist tomorrow, in hope to start hormones.

   I am very pleased to find out about a new edition that has been released of the Standards of Care provided by WPATH. The new, 7th Edition, has a new set of requirements for Hormone Replacement Therapy.

The old requirements were:
1. Age 18 years;
2. Demonstrable knowledge of what hormones medically can and cannot do and their social benefits and risks;
3 Either...
   A. a documented real-life experience of at least three months prior to the administration of hormones; or
   B. a period of psychotherapy of a duration specified by the mental health professional after the initial evaluation (usually a minimum of three months).

The new requirements are:
1. Persistent, well-documented gender dysphoria;
2. Capacity to make a fully informed decision and to consent for treatment;
3. Age of majority in a given country (if younger, follow the Standards of Care outlined in section
VI);
4. If significant medical or mental health concerns are present, they must be reasonably well controlled.

   This means that a person no longer needs to have a documented 3 months RLE (Real Live Experiance) living in their preferred gender. This is kind of funny, because this could mean the end of this blog. The main reason I started this blog is to document my 3 months. I now believe that I am completely eligible to take hormones now. Which is great since I have an appointment with a therapist this coming Tuesday. YAY!!!

Instead I will continue to document my journey to getting FULL breasts, and a completely feminine figure. I hope to also provide tips and hints to help others on their journey.

What I am wearing today. (Oct. 3rd 2011)
F. bra
F. tight boyshort panties (hot pink)
F. new black dress slacks
F. shaping black shirt
M. button up dress shirt
M. sleeveless sweater
M. socks

Accessories today
F. Necklace
F. Pink toenail polish
F. light-blue thumbnails
F. ring
M. dress shoes